Monday, March 17, 2014

Luck O' The Irish

Some colors just look better on me than others.  Green has always been a good choice, so St. Patrick's Day has always been easy to pull off.  This year, though, I think I pulled it off better than I ever have.

We were allowed to wear jeans to work on St. Pat's Day as long as we also wore something green (besides our aprons, lol). I had found this adorable Kermit tshirt at the thrift store a few months ago, so I wore that along with a green sweater.  Just for shits and giggles, here's a photo of me at last year's St. Pat's Day parade:

And this year in the above-mentioned green getup:

It's not luck, really, but looking at these two pictures I gotta say I FEEL pretty lucky.  Lucky to have been able to do what I've done.  Lucky to have the support of so many folks during this process.  Lucky to have the strength to keep at it.  Lucky to be alive.  Maybe "lucky" isn't the right word.  "Blessed" might be a better choice.  But whatever you want to call it, I'm cheerier than a leprechaun with a pot of gold.

Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone!

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

11-Month Surgiversary: Short and Sweet. Unlike This WINTER.

Valentine's Day just passed and Easter is coming.  So you know what that means.  Lots and lots of chocolate.  So much chocolate.  And so much chocolate on sale.

I have eaten too much chocolate.

The last few days I have given into serious stress eating, and those goddamn Reese's eggs are the death of me.  I feel like garbage.

And it's not just the chocolate.  It's cookies.  Chips.  Pastries.  And all other kinds of junk food.  I feel like absolute SHIT when I eat that crap, and yet...something in me just wants to keep eating it, despite the fact that it hinders my workouts, gives me serious gastric distress, and causes intense fatigue.  I know how much better I feel when I eat clean, and yet something in my head is making me want the shit that makes me feel like absolute death.

Seriously, head?  Why???

I feel like the last few days I've taken GIANT LEAPS BACKWARD.  This must stop.  I haven't had food in the house for awhile, mainly because I haven't had a lot of extra money to buy any.  But that's no excuse.  If I go to the store with $10, there's no reason for me to buy $5 worth of candy.  All $10 should be spent on healthy options.  I KNOW this.  But I'm not DOING it.

Maybe it's this fucking NEVER ENDING WINTER that has my head all screwed up.  Maybe it's this guy I'm seeing and the fact that I'm distracted by him and his drama (there's plenty).  Maybe it's my financial situation, my insane schedule, whatever.  It has to stop.

Today I will grocery shop.  And I will behave.