Sunday, January 12, 2014

Nine-Month Update: Minding my "P"s

Happy New Year, everyone!

Two days ago was my nine-month surgiversary.  For whatever reason, the surgiversaries in the last couple of months have slipped my mind until late in the day - and in this month's case I was simply too busy to do anything about it until today.

So here I am.

Nine months after this journey began, I am happier and healthier than ever. Life is FAR from perfect, as am I, but I've come to the conclusion that I have to be okay with this.  See, the other night I had a little introspective moment during which I remembered the "Three Ps" that I mentioned way back in June: patience, persistence, and presence. A lot of the challenges I've faced in recent months have been the direct result of my failure to remember these.  Whether I failed to remember because I've gotten cocky, or lazy, or just distracted, the fact remains that I've lost patience with myself, my persistence has wavered, and I've not been present in my own existence as much as I need to be.

I also figured out that I should add another "P" to the list, and this is a big one: PROCESS.

Life is a process.  This journey is a process.  And instead of getting all caught up that I don't look perfect, that the scale isn't moving downward as quickly as it was before, that the guy I like is dragging his feet, that the job I applied for hasn't returned my call, et cetera, I should just fucking RELAX and work through the process.  As a designer, I know all about process.  Process is, in my humble professional opinion, just as important as the product - if not more so.  You don't just sit down and whip out a design.  There's a process.  And at the end of that process you've created something effective - and if you've done it right, you've created something outstanding.  But it starts with idea sessions and sketches and scribbles and notes and a bunch of other shit that ends up in the trash before you get what you ultimately want.  This is no different.

They say that getting there is half the fun - and if I've made ANY resolutions for this year, it's to enjoy the journey, and just let it unfold.  Sure, I look weird without clothes on, but when I am wearing clothes, I'm wearing a 6 or 8.  Nine months ago I was a 20. Two nights ago I got myself into Ultrasana, or Camel Pose, at yoga.  Nine months ago I could barely kneel on a mat.  Last week I went cross-country skiing for the first time (well, technically the second; I'd gone once before, 25 years ago) and I didn't fall.  My instructor was impressed with how quickly I picked up the sport, and I do believe it's because of the strength and flexibility I've developed from nine months of working out. It's the little things that are adding up to big changes, and if I continue doing what I'm doing, continue being present, patient, and persistent with the process, I will continue to see yet another big "P" -- PROGRESS.

Yeah, I can do this now.  

Instead of looking in the mirror and being grossed out by my "Bingo Wings," I should be flexing my biceps and marveling at how developed they are.  I should be loving the definition in my shoulders.  I should be proud of my strength and I should pay attention to what I've gotten accomplished instead of obsessing about what I still need to fix.  Instead of staring with disgust at the cascade of loose skin on my belly and getting all worked up about my sagging boobs, I should put that energy into clean eating and furthering my fitness goals.  I am a work in progress.  Rome wasn't built in a day.  I spent 30 years fucking up my body.  It's going to take a lot longer than nine months to undo the damage.  I will undoubtedly require some plastic surgery at some point, but instead of rushing into that, I should just keep doing what I'm doing and see what I can get done on my own.  It might take awhile, but minding my "P"s will be crucial in getting it done.

I have a lot more to say about all of this, but if I try to get into everything right now it'll be The Blog Post That Never Ends.  I suppose if I actually posted more than once every couple of weeks lately I wouldn't be faced with the dilemma of trying to cram everything into one post, but again - it's a process.

For now I'll leave you with my nine-month stats and (drumroll, please) progression photos.

Starting weight on 3/31/13 (start of pre-op diet): 259.8
Surgery Day weight on 4/10/13: 244.2
Current weight 1/12/14: 152.0
Total weight lost: 107.8
Goal weight: 143
Pounds to goal: 9-ish 

Progression photos.  I actually had to buy a new gray tank top because the other one hung like an old sack on me!  It'll be time to retire those PJ bottoms soon, too.

 3/31/13             5/19/13              7/10/13            10/11/13           1/12/14

And yeah, I know....the photos aren't taken at EXACTLY the same distance, so I appear to be getting taller throughout the process, but whatever.  You get the idea.  :-)


  1. I've just read your blog with great interest, and you have got me enthused about the whole process again. I was sleeved Oct 2012, and although I've lost a bunch of weight, I've still a long ways to go. I've not really got in to the exercise as yet, so need to work on that. You have motivated me! How often do you work out?

  2. I work out at least four times a week. I do cardio and weights a minimum of twice a week, do yoga and spinning once a week (on the same day, in succession), and on Sundays when there's enough snow I go cross-country skiing. If there's not enough snow that day then I hit the gym again. I also just signed up for a dance class, so I'll be doing that as well. Exercise really is the key to success, I've found. And the more I do it the more I want to do it. Keeping up your metabolism is the way to lose the weight, and developing your muscles will make you want to keep working them. My muscles actually get a little cranky if I don't work out for a couple of days!