Thursday, August 15, 2013

Four Months, 75 Pounds, and Vacation Jitters

Seems like two weeks is the magic number for entries lately.  It'll be another two before I update again, too, since I'm leaving on vacation for the Pacific Northwest in a few hours and won't have access to a computer.  My laptop shit the bed a few months ago and I haven't had the extra cash to fix it.  This really kind of sucks, actually, since my laptop would definitely come in handy for downloading all the photos I imagine I'll be taking, would be nice to have in case I have some downtime to do some work (yeah, I know, I'm on vacation but remember, I'm largely self-employed, so I grab work whenever and wherever I can), and would be nice to have in case I want to do some writing.  Oh well.  Life goes on.  I'll be packing the journal/sketchbook and rolling old-school I guess.

So.  A number of things have been going on recently. Last week was my four-month surgiversery.  I didn't take photos because there isn't really a major difference between three and four months; I've lost another 13.5 pounds and a couple more inches all-around.  However, there was a milestone that arrived this past week, another charm on the bracelet, and that's...drumroll, please...



The other day I was at the gym and I decided to see what 75 pounds felt like.  I went over to the weights and grabbed the 75 pound dumbbell with both hands and lifted it off the rack.  Just as soon as I picked it up I had to set it down on the floor.  I couldn't lift it.  And I thought, "Damn.  I'd been carrying that around on my body for a really long time."  It really put it into perspective.

During a routine visit with Dr. H. last week he asked how my skin situation is.  It's...well, it's not pretty.   I don't have a lot of time to go into detail (and the details are gross anyway) but basically he looked at it and declared it time to start documenting stuff so when the time comes to have it remedied, there will be a "treatment trail" for the insurance company.  So there's that.  But I'll get more into that some other time.

And now...the bad stuff.  The last week or so I have been intermittently eating like crap.  Like junk food and even the occasional half a candy bar. And I'm finding myself slipping into old patterns: eating when I'm bored.  Eating when I'm not hungry.  Eating in front of the TV (goddamn Breaking Bad is taking over my life).  Eating until I'm too full.  Of course now when I do that I get sick, but that's not good either.  I shouldn't be doing it in the first place.  This is probably why it's not a good thing for me to blog only every two weeks.  I should be writing about this stuff every two DAYS.  And even though I'm still losing weight, I'm not nourishing my body properly.  My hair continues to fall out to the point where my comb is full after I use it.  I'm starting to feel that familiar fatigue.  The headaches.  The discombobulation and discomfort from a too-full stomach. My body TELLS me when it's not happy, and I have to LISTEN to it.

These next two weeks are going to be challenging.  This is the first time I've traveled since the surgery, and I'm going with a very limited amount of cash.  I'm packing a couple boxes of protein bars just in case, figuring in the worst-case scenario I'll just eat one of those if my meal options are less than optimal.  If I have room for some protein powder I might pack some of that, too, but something tells me carrying unlabeled white powder onto a plane might not be the best idea.  Anyway, in the past when I've traveled I've used it as an excuse to stuff myself stupid ("but this is a local delicacy!  I have to try it!") and/or throw all dietary rules out the window.  Can't do that this time.  The last thing I want to do is be bent over the railing on the Space Needle, hurling whatever "local delicacy" I've indulged in onto unsuspecting passersby.

I'm also concerned about exercise.  I don't think I have enough extra money to buy a temporary gym pass, but I'm going to investigate some options and perhaps scour the local ads for free yoga classes.  Most cities do have them.  And if that fails, then I'll just have to find time to take a 30-minute walk every couple of days.  I will be walking quite a bit anyway, but I need to keep up on my strength training, too.  Hell, I want to be able to lift that 100-pound weight when the time comes.

So my vacation pledge is this: I am on vacation.  My nutrition and exercise are not.  I will find a way to make it work, and I will come back feeling healthier, happier, stronger, and rested.  Because isn't that what vacations are supposed to do?

See you all in two weeks.