Saturday, March 30, 2013

Final Boarding Call


Tomorrow I start my pre-op liquid diet.  For those who might be curious as to what this entails, my daily nutrition from tomorrow until the day before surgery will consist of four protein shakes.  In between those shakes I need to drink at least 64 ounces of sugar-free/low-calorie, caffeine-free liquid.  I can have water, flavored water, Crystal Light, Propel, Gatorade G2, Sugar-free KoolAid, herbal tea, etc.  If I'm in the mood for something I can sort of chew, I can have sugar-free Jell-O or popsicles.  If I want something savory, I can have chicken broth.

I can not have coffee.  God help us all. 

Anyway, while I was at work today, it hit me.  This was it.  Everything changes after today.  And I started to cry.

I cried not because I was saying goodbye to chocolate and Pepsi and donuts and pizza.  I cried not because I'm scared of what's around the bend.  I cried because I felt like today was the last day of the Old Me's life, and the tears were not necessarily out of mourning for her, but of happiness that she is finally going to move forward.  Onward.  Upward. 

If there's anything I dislike about my life it's that it often feels as if it lacks forward motion.  Sure, I do a lot of great stuff and have been a lot of neat places and know some awesome people.  My life is interesting, and my life is fun.  But it doesn't seem to be going anywhere most of the time.  Perhaps it is the nature of the beast when you are single and childfree; you have no "traditional" markers with which to measure progress.  Ditto when you're underemployed.  You spend a lot of time running for the gate, only to spend an inordinate amount of time hanging out on the tarmac, gazing hopefully into the distance but never actually taking off. 

But tomorrow...tomorrow I start a Whole New Life.  Tomorrow it begins, and tomorrow the chocks are removed from the wheels and I taxi down the runway.  It's happening.  I'm moving.  I'm on my way.  My seatbelt is securely fastened, the tray table is up, my seat back is in the upright position, and I'm ready to fly.

Bon voyage, Old Me. Welcome to your New Life.


2 comments:

  1. DeeDee, I'm really excited for you. You are in my prayers (or rather you would be if I wasn't a godless heathen.) I can really sympathize with the spinning-your-wheels feeling; got some "milestone interruptus" going on in our lives, too. -j.

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  2. Thanks Joe! Your support and friendship mean the world to me, and I feel really blessed to have you and R in my circle. Love you guys!!!

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